This is something that I wrote a couple of weeks ago.

As I sit here at 2:15 am on a Sunday morning wondering why God wants to keep me awake I ask the question What if? This has been the topic for the Senior High on Wednesday nights for a few weeks now. Now maybe I need to ask myself these questions also. I have many questions that go through my head, but I will only put down a few.
1. What if God wants me to downsize my house? Yesterday I had my small group over to my house for fellowship and food. As we pull into my neighborhood one of the guys makes the comment “Oh this is a rich neighborhood.” I have to say that I felt guilty, ashamed and convicted all at the same time. He did not mean anything by his comment, but it has made me ask some questions to myself. If we downsized it would free up money to be able to have multiply effects. We could give more money to the church, more to charities, and be able to go on mission trips. To me these are all positive outcomes.
2. What if God wants to call me into ministry on a full time basis? This is a question that I have been asking God for a while now. He called me into youth ministries as a small group leader and it is not something that I would have normally done. On a weekly basis I pray for wisdom from God to show me what I need to talk about with my guys. I believe that our group has gone well and will only get better from here on. I do not have an answer to this question. As I keep praying on this I know that God will give me an answer.
3. What if I could go back and do things over again? I have to say that I would have to do everything the same way. The reason is that if I changed something I would not be the person that I am today. I could not know what addiction is and it would completely change my testimony. As I have told my small group, you can not look back on the past, but you can change the future.
These are a few of the questions that I ask myself. As I work on developing a better relationship with God I’m excited about what the future holds for my family and me. Jackson reminded me this week about something when looking at an A+ by saying “Daddy that is where Jesus died.” All I could say was yes he did and for that I will be forever grateful that he died for my sins.